


Twins, Fireworks And Other Things That Shouldn't Mix

by OverlyInvestedFangirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Crack, F/M, I Don't Even Know, No Smut, Platform 9 3/4, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 11:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16722138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverlyInvestedFangirl/pseuds/OverlyInvestedFangirl
Summary: What happens when Hermione gets coerced into helping the twins with a prank? Written for the Platform 9 3/4 OS contest





	Twins, Fireworks And Other Things That Shouldn't Mix

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to my amazing Beta MrsMast who gave me encouragement to write my first ever comedy, also shout out to the platform and the fanfiction co-ordinators for putting everything together with the contests and helping everyone who was participating, this story wouldn't be here without you guys

A disaster, that's what this was. Full blown, stuffed it all up disaster. Now surely she would be spend the rest of the school year in detention doing whatever Professor Mast or Professor Valentin deemed a fitting punishment. All because she let the twins talk her into helping with an experiment. She should have known that any time the twins did an experiment it was going to end in a spectacular fashion. 

 

Maybe Professor Mast would be too busy with her famous boyfriend, quidditch professional Viktor Krum, to come up with anything truly horrible punishment wise. There were rumours that Professor Valentin had just started dating Charlie Weasley after a few years of flirting and unspoken feelings during school. So maybe she would be preoccupied with her love life and teaching as well. 

 

Going to Romania to study dragons didn't help the situation between the two. They did however according to Fred and George still owl each other all the time. Then recently Charlie had returned for a visit and spent a lot of time with a certain witch he was enamoured with so she would say the rumours were true even if she hadn't gotten confirmation from the twins that Charlie was now taken. The rest of school however still thought it was just rumours and she wasn't going to be the one to correct them. 

 

Who knows, maybe she could survive the rest of the year if she was lucky. Who was she kidding, the guaranteed months of detention would still be horrendous even if they weren't filled with gruesome, cruel punishments thought up by the two clever and creative Professors. 

 

She wished they would hurry up and finish talking with Dumbledore, waiting to be called on was beyond nerve wracking. She had never been in so much trouble before, minor things with Harry and Ron sure but never like this. As she continued waiting she let her mind drift to how this had all started. 

 

***

 

“You've got to be kidding me? In the Great Hall? And how exactly do you propose we'll pull this off, not that I'm saying I'm in but if I'm going to consider this I need to know the plan.” She questioned the twins, filled with wonder at how they came up with their ideas. 

 

They wanted to somehow put a fart inducing potion into all the food that will be at dinner and then use a charm to make miniature fireworks go off every time someone farted. 

 

“It'll be a blast Hermione! We've already got most of it figured out we just need to get the potion into the food supply and an extra person to make sure the charm is strong enough to cover everyone in the Great Hall.” Fred exclaimed with a slightly crazed look. She knew that look, the twins were set on this plan and nothing she said would change their minds. 

 

Oh well, she thought. At least if she helped them it won't be her farting and having fireworks go off around her. With a defeated sigh she agreed and shook both their hands in acceptance. She knew they had explosive personalities but she didn't realise how accurate her words were going to be. 

 

***

 

After a few weeks of careful planning they had finally gotten everything prepared as could be. They had scouted the kitchens and decided that the best option would be to set up a timed drip system above the area that the dishes were set on before being magicked up onto the tables in the Great Hall. This way they could keep the supply flowing, they had figured out how to increase the strength of the potion so that one drop would be enough for each dish to infect everyone who ate a bite. 

 

She could happily say she was not the one who had to test that out, George and Fred had gladly volunteered for that. She couldn't quite understand why a fart was so amusing to some people. They were funny sure, but the twins were rolling on the floor in tears during the testing phase and she didn't understand how it affected them so much. She was struggling just to breathe let alone being able to find the ability to laugh. 

 

The charm they had created a long time ago as part of their dive into entrepreneurism with their Weasleys Wizard Wheezes products. It only took some minor tinkering to turn it into an area of effect spell that would coincide with the potions effects. 

 

The twins really were talented, they have created a whole new spell and potion for this prank and managed to get them to work together. It took highly skilled witches and wizards to successfully do things like that and they had managed it before graduating from Hogwarts. 

 

She had to admit, she was rather impressed and that was coming from Hermione Granger the one people called “brightest witch of our age”. Not that she liked that title but she couldn't seem to shake it no matter how hard she tried. Those people clearly weren't aware of how intelligent and creative the twins were otherwise she may have some competition for the title. Maybe because they chose to put their effort into something that wasn't school work everyone assumed they were not actually that smart. 

 

They had decided on a Sunday evening, it would ensure that they got the highest amount of people in one go. This was due to some students tendency to skip breakfast or lunch however dinner was almost always attended. 

 

After lunch they had gone back to the third floor girls toilet to gather the potion supplies, it seemed to be a very common place to do things away from prying eyes. Then they headed down to the kitchens trying to act as nonchalant as possible to avoid any suspicion. 

 

After tickling the pear on the portrait that led into the kitchens they begun part one of Operation Fartastrophe. 

 

She was to set up the potion droppers while Fred and George distracted the house elves that worked in the kitchens. They had decided asking in depth questions about all the different dishes they had made for dinner should take up enough time for her to complete the task. The elves were all too willing to share the details of their work, soaking up the praise and attention that was such a rare occurrence for them. 

 

While the twins questioned the elves she snuck around using both her wand and hands to secure the equipment in place. Testing that it was functional and wouldn't come loose she subtly signalled the twins that her task was complete. They slowly began to wrap up the questions as she slunk around the tables to stand beside them. 

 

With spare treats and delights stacked high in both the twins and her arms, gifts from the elves who were delighted at the visit, they raced out of the kitchen. Leaving before their success induced giggles and euphoria gave them away. 

 

She had to admit that the adrenaline of doing something against the rules was addicting, she wanted another taste of this feeling. She wondered if the twins always felt on cloud nine after pulling off pranks, maybe that's why they did them so often. 

 

Sitting down on the floor of the third floor girls toilets they all had a miniature feast on what the elves had given them, a premature celebration the twins called it. Plus they had said, what else were they going to do for the next few hours before dinner. All that was left to do for part two of Operation Fartastrophe was wait until everyone had eaten a bit then cast the charm on the Great Hall. 

 

It all seemed rather simple she thought, all falling into place and coming together smoothly. She ignored the anxious feeling pooling in the pit of her stomach, it was just nerves she had assured herself. She wasn't used to doing things like this so it was to be expected she would feel this way, it didn't mean anything was going to happen. Right? 

 

***

 

They made sure to all get seats next to each other, the twins were usually seated together anyway and recently she had been near them too. No one seemed to suspect anything, the food was complimented as always, students and professors all eagerly filling their stomach. 

 

They had a small vial of antidote in their robes so that they could still eat without being at risk of succumbing to the potion and charm themselves. Dessert was about to be served when they decided they had waited long enough for the effects to be at their biggest, it was hilarious timing according to the twins, people would unknowingly participate in their sweet prank while eating sweets. 

 

Quickly and with the least amount of suspicious activity as possible they drained the contents of their vials and pulled out their wands. Circling them while two were directed at the both ends of the Great Hall and one in its centre, all three pranksters begin to whisper the incantation. 

 

“Ominus gasisus pyrosus, reiacto gasisus pyrosus, combinus gasisus pyrosus. Ominus gasisus pyrosus, reiacto gasisus pyrosus, combinus gasisus pyrosus. Ominus gasisus pyrosus, reiacto gasisus pyrosus, combinus gasisus pyrosus.” 

 

Like a shimmering subtle green glitter, the room starts to sparkle. Then before they even had a chance to put nose plugs in, the gas frenzy begins. The twins hurriedly block their noses and she follows suit, looking on at the twins gleeful grins. 

 

With an almost maniacal look they turn to her and say, 

“The official Fartastrophe has begun!” 

To add more effect to their declaration, the first round of fireworks go off behind them after a particularly trumpet like show from a furiously embarrassed looking Professor Snape. 

 

She couldn't help but burst out laughing at the sight of Snape trying to both run away and hide the evidence of his gaseous creation. She doubled over with the force of her laughter, tears forming as she struggled to reign in her fit of laughter. 

 

Looking around at the masterpiece the three of them had created she noticed something the twins seemed to be overlooking. Tugging on their sleeves, trying to distract them from the glorious view long enough to get a few words through. 

 

“Guys… Guys...GUYS!” That finally got them to look at her. “Don't you think the fireworks are a little larger than we had intended. Like a lot larger, these aren't golf ball sized fireworks these are bigger than a basketball sized fireworks and they're happening all over the Great Hall!” 

 

For a moment she thinks they'll just ignore everything she said but then they started looking around, properly looking at what was going on. 

 

“You know Fred, I think Hermione's right.” George said casually to his twin, like there wasn't purple, red and yellow sparkles mere feet from him. 

“I think you're right George, we really must have miscalculated the right mix of each. Spectacular outcome though.” Fred replied sounding all too pleased with himself. 

“Quite spiffing to be honest, must test this further.” George retorts. 

 

She huffs at the lack of seriousness but what else should she have expected from the twins. They clearly notice she is upset at how things are going and try to console her, Fred's arm wrapping around her shoulder giving a light squeeze. 

“Look Hermione, let's just enjoy this for a while longer before we do anything that will surely announce our responsibility. Not like it's doing anyone any harm, well except maybe to Snapes ego but that's not really a loss is it ahaha.” 

 

George laughs at Fred's joke but gives her a serious look after a moment, she knows deep down that they wouldn't let it continue if it were harming anyone. She supposes she should relax a bit more for once in her life. 

 

It is highly amusing watching the Professors let one rip just to have it explode in colourful patterns not even half a second later. Dumbledore was standing near his seat, quite obviously laughing every time he or someone nearby let off a fart and then the fireworks appeared. 

 

So that's what she does, she lets her laughter out until she is clutching at Fred's arm to try keep herself upright. The arm around her pulls her in closer and she can feel the vibrations from his own laughter coming in waves through his ribcage she was pressed against. 

 

George was leaning against the Gryffindor table chortling with careless abandon, occasionally pointing at a particularly funny scene of the Fartastrophe. She had to admit, she was glad they had decided to put video recorders in various places around the Great Hall. This was definitely something that she would want to rewatch at some stage, even if only once. 

 

Seamus Finnigan rushed past just then, in a feat only Seamus could achieve he had someone gotten his eyebrows burnt off, had singed patches throughout his hair and a spectacular burn mark on the backside of his pants. Looking around she noticed that the close vicinity of the fireworks were starting smoke up the room. 

 

Through the haze however, the three of them noticed simultaneously both the potions and charms Professors making a beeline for them all. On top of accidentally creating an explosive mix when trying to combine the potion and charm, they all now had the Professors of said subjects death staring them all while they tried to get to them with as little gas outbreaks as possible. 

 

Giving each other an extremely scared look, all three of them tried to make a break for it. Jumping over and around scatter benches and tables, avoiding colliding with either a person or the results of the prank, they all had the same goal of reaching the main door. Despite the burn in her lungs and legs she wryly thinks that they would make good runners in the muggle Olympics. If they made it out of tonight alive and in one piece that is. 

 

It wasn't until they all got to the door that the three of them had remembered. The twins placed locking charms on it earlier to prevent the show from ending early due to people leaving the Great Hall. They also said it was so the smell didn't spread but she had doubts that they did it for any other reason than to enjoy their handy work. 

 

With a huff she had pulled out her wand again and begun undoing the charm work after an “Alohomora!” Fred cast didn't unlock it. She had looked over her shoulder to see Professor Valentin lowering her wand. No wonder the spell hadn't worked, the locking charms on it were now much more complicated and powerful. 

“Come on Hermione, faster if you can.” George urged her on. Turning to look at him she responded with a bit of a snarl. 

“I am doing my bloody best here, you two are the ones that started this and I'm having to finish it so either keep the noise down and people away or bloody help me.”

 

With a mumbled sorry from the twins they began helping her undo the lock on the door. Occasionally one of them would turn back and check on the progress of the Professors making their way towards them. When they finally unlocked the door she thought that despite all this she was glad it was the twins with her not anyone else. She doubted many others would have been able to get this lock undone so quickly. 

 

They opened the huge doors and promptly made to get away. Just as they had begun to run towards the Gryffindor common room all three were yanked back by the back of their shirts. 

“Just where do you think you're going hmmm?” Professor Valentin questioned with a hint of fury laced in it. She swore she saw the twins jump a little, something only Molly had previously achieved when scolding them. 

 

“Dumbledore's office. Now!” Professor Mast yelled. They slowly walked to the Headmasters office, slowed down by the farting and fireworks still coming from the professors. Once they were seated outside the office and locked inside the Professors went back downstairs to sort out the mess and get Dumbledore. 

 

It was almost an hour before they returned with a chuckling Dumbledore in tow. The twins let out a laugh of their own seeing Dumbledore clearly enjoying himself while Professor Valentin and Mast mainly just looked angry and embarrassed. It was another forty-five minutes of waiting before they had finished talking about the situation and the door was opened. 

 

***

 

The call for them to enter snapped her out of her recollection, the three of them taking seats in front of Dumbledore. Professor Mast and Valentin were sent off to check on the condition of the students and staff, leaving them alone with Dumbledore. 

 

With bated breath they awaited their sentence, before Dumbledore began speaking she saw his tell-tale eye twinkle. She had a feeling he had been rather amused by it all. 

“Now first off, that was a rather foolish thing to do and you caused quite a disruption. We've managed to subdue the farting and fireworks although I suspect we would have had it done quicker if we had asked you three for the antidote am I right?”

 

“Yes sir.” Was the quiet reply, none of them wanting to elaborate more than necessary. Dumbledore chuckles and clasps his hands together. 

“Between you and I, that was a brilliant bit of magic. And I won't lie, the look on Severus’ face was priceless. Mr Finnigan also seemed to have a rather explosive night, he really does has a certain affinity for pyrotechnics whether it's his own doing or not.” Dumbledore says mischievously. The twins crack a wide grin at the praise, she just smiles looking down at the floor. Trust Dumbledore to react like this after they had just pranked most of the school. 

 

“I do however still have to punish you, as brilliant as I think it was, most of the faculty do not share my opinion. You three will serve detention together every evening for three months, one month added for each person involved. This will be with Professor Mast and Professor Valentin, they are in charge of what you will do during the detention. Now off to bed, I think you deserve a good night's rest before punishment commences.” Dumbledore explained. 

 

The three got up and turned to leave, both disappointed in having to serve so much detention and happy in the great success Operation Fartastrophe was. 

“Oh and do try to avoid any more mischief between here and the common room. Wouldn't want to add anymore detention than you already have.” Dumbledore advised with a chuckle. 

 

Grinning at each other they hurried back to the Gryffindor common room, a slight skip in their step at a job well done. Tomorrow they would grab the video recorders and watch the show all over again, for now they wanted to get what they had a feeling would be some blissful sleep. 

 


End file.
